Definition: To propose; to put forward,(a matter, subject, case, etc ), for consideration, acceptance, or action. To ask someone you love for their hand in marriage so as to spend the rest of your lives together. A stressful and agonising moment in a young man’s life when he believes he is going to become the youngest heart attack victim in history while his possible partner in life busys herself by counting the two hundred beads of sweat on his forehead before giving her answer.
The proposal from a wedding point of view is where it all begins. Once you’ve proposed and the other party has accepted, you then become engaged until you are married on your wedding day. Of course some people may propose to someone simply to become their “lifetime partner” or “significant other” with no expectations on either side to ever get married. If this is your scenario then you better go to LifetimePartnerNet or SignificantOtherNet right now.But in all seriousness the proposal is something that should indicate the strength of the relationship for someone to be confident enough to ask for the other’s hand in marriage. The proposal is traditionally regarded as the initiative of the male in the relationship, ( in same sex marriages it’s whoever’s supposed to put out the wheely-bin and kill poisonous spiders), but that’s not to say that females don’t or can’t propose. In fact with some guys the girls may feel they have to propose or end up in a book of world records’ for “the couple going out together for over 50 years with no end in sight” !
The way you propose should reflect the type of relationship you enjoy, your two individual personalities and for some people recognition symbolically or literally of where you first met or recognition of a common interest you share, ( nude scuba-diving!).
Think about it. When people first learn you’re engaged the first question to the girl is, “How did he ask?” or “Where did he pop the question?”, so serious thought is warranted to make that moment special and memorable for both of you for the rest of your lives. How the proposal happened will be a story that will be heard and reheard over the years by children and adults alike. Girls, if you believe your guy has as much imagination as the wooden goal posts at your local footy field then feel free to print this section out and leave it somewhere discrete for him like under his car’s windshield wipers or inside the case of his favourite CD, (or even inside the case of his favourite beer!).
Where to propose? The three most important aspects of the proposal is location, location, location! Well, not quite, but it obviously would help get a positive answer if the locale was at least romantic. This can be achieved by the environment, …beautiful gardens, a setting near the ocean or a waterway, or by the relevance of the location, …a proposal back where your eyes first met, … at the dispensa-drink machine of your local fast food outlet!
Every town, city or community has parks, gardens or bushland reserves that would serve the purpose for a moderately private proposal that could be sprung upon the unsuspecting partner under the guise of a quiet picnic or lunch for two.Alternately, many successful proposals have emerged from somewhat more populated, but just as romantic venues, such as a top class restaurant. As long as the prospective groom doesn’t think he has to ply his “bride to be” with enough beverage to equal the drinks bill on the local footy team’s end of season flight to Bali or Fiji to get an affirmative answer, or that he has to consume so much “Dutch courage” that when he gets on bended knee he realises that he’ll probably have to stay there for the rest of the night.
Of course, not everyone desires or believes in the need for intimacy when proposing to their loved one. Many people believe that the very act of the proposal should be performed as a “public” declaration of their love for the most important person in their life.
These are the people who are only happy when their other half is just one of 20,000 who reads the proposal on the scoreboard at the stadium during the half-time entertainment or happily observes their loved one’s incredulity as everyone at the beach watches the plane with the proposal on the banner do two fly pasts as he gets down on bended knee in his swimmers on her beach towel.
Okay class, let’s go back over the different influences which may decide how or where the proposal takes place,
The proposal – refelects your relationship
easygoing – you mention it to them between the cheeseburger and the double fries.
formal – send your butler to ask.
sex-crazed – you will need 1 bathtub, a sturdy pulley with rope, 20 cans of dairy whip, a hook in the ceiling and plenty of stamina.
athletic – same as above or propose while jogging, or playing tennis or while watching the third test with a beer & meat pie at her place.
romantic – propose on a moonlit night, or at a candlelit dinner, or on a plane on a mystery flight.
The proposal – reflects your personalities
low key – you mumble the proposal.
fun loving – at the top of a ferris wheel in an amusement park.
procrastinator – relax, you keep telling your partner you have something important to tell them, ” but it can wait til later”.
The proposal – reflects where you first met – literally
The original 200 decibel disco where you first lost your hearing together, (probably not a good place for someone to attempt to hear your most important question!).
The same public swimming pool where you first gave her mouth to mouth after she slipped over in a puddle of water.
The university lecture theatre where you spent two hours writing down the best opening lines to start a conversation while gazing at this new vision of beauty.
The proposal – reflects where you first met – symbolically
You met while cycling through the French countryside on holiday ….so propose when you go on a bike ride through your nearest botanic gardens.
You met while at a New Year’s Eve party …..so propose at midnight as the fireworks go off at a New Year’s Eve celebration.
The proposal – that reflects a common interest you have
Butterfly collecting – get an oversized net and while out butterfly catching, catch your intended and float the question.
Books – propose in a library, (just remember to whisper).
Parachuting – ask her to tie the knot before she pulls the cord.
Computers – E-mail your proposal.
Marriage Proposals as we know it under threat of extinction.
In a massive display of reality check many Australians getting married in recent times admitted that the marriage proposal as we know it just didn’t happen in the traditional sense for them. Most couples were already living together when the decision was made. There wasn’t so much romance in the air as the clicking of calculator buttons as couples decided if there was economic advantage in the merger of their individual worldly possessions.
Many couples admitted that they couldn’t even pinpoint a particular date when one or the other popped the question or the other answered. “It was more a gradual realisation over a period of time that this was something we both wanted to do,” said Jennifer, “it happened over a number of discussions that just sort of started for different reasons.”
Top on discussion lists were, “Do we sell one of the cars?”, “If we have a joint account, do we still keep separate accounts as well?”, and “Do you honestly believe that your life size dummy of the Phantom in the corner won’t detract from the ambience of the new lounge suite we’re buying?”.
More news as it comes to hand.
Well, there you have it, to propose or not to propose. Let’s face it, a proposal is a fantastically
romantic and positive way to take an already strong relationship onto an important and serious next phase in two people’s journey through life together. Romance seems to be continually written about as making a comeback but the fact is, it has never gone away. If you decide to embrace the good feelings you have for someone and feel they are special enough to you, to want to make them feel special, then there’s sure to be the seed of a funny, exciting, romantic or adventurous proposal lurking in the back of your mind somewhere.
And don’t worry if you have already decided to marry and come to the decision in something resembling a series of committee meetings with only two people present, you can still propose, it makes the surprise even greater for your other half and a little less stressful for the proposer. What could make you feel more elated then knowing you’re going to hear the right words to that simple but important question, “Will you marry me?”.