The guest list… it’s just getting too long

You and your fiance want a small intimate wedding. Your mother would like to ask all her sisters and their families. You can’t ask Aunt Mavis without asking Aunt Julie. What will you do??? Keep reading and get some of the answers you require.


“We already have too many people on our guest list. How do we make it shorter?”

There is no correct way to edit down your guest list. The first thing you should do is choose the number of guests according to your budget and where the reception will be held. Remember that this is yourwedding, not your mother or mother-in-laws. Nor is it a business function.

You and your fiance should write down everyone you would like to invite first, including any relatives. If at this stage you are over the number of guests, you can cut back in several ways. Here are some general ideas for cutting back on your guest list.

  1. Cut out on partners. People aren’t bothered these days if you don’t invite “John and guest”. If you don’t know who the guest is by now, chances are you won’t by the wedding. If this will be a problem with John, explain the situation to him. There is an exception to this rule. Partners of your attendants should always be invited, even if you don’t know them too well.
  2. Do you really need to invite my boss and co-workers to the wedding? If your office is very small ( a handful of people, all of who you know very well), you may invite all the workers, again remembering about their ‘guests’. In a larger office only people in your department may need to be invited. In most offices, no one expects to be invited to a co-workers wedding, unless you have a social relationship.
  3. If still, you cannot get under the number of guests, one idea has worked for many couples… “Will I still be in contact with this person in 2/5 years from now?” If the answer is no, perhaps you don’t need to invite them to your wedding.
  4. Because you were invited to Mary’s wedding 10 years ago, doesn’t mean you need to invite her, 3 kids and husband along to yours.
  5. Children may be excluded from your wedding. Perhaps you could organise a baby sitter for the kids for the evening and their parents need not worry. Most people these days are happy about not inviting the little ones along. It gives the parents a night away from their own kids.

Make an A list and B list of people – people who must be invited to your wedding, and those who you would like to invite. Send invitations to the people on the A list about 8 weeks before the wedding. If they decline, you still have enough time to invite the B list without them being offended or ever knowing.

These are ideas from other WeddingNet visitors. If you have a hint for cutting back the guest list, or any other subject on getting married, let us know at WeddingNet.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *